No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
