You're so nebulous sometimes
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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