I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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