The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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