DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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