i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
