If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
