I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
