she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
