I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
