my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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