My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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