I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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