Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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