i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
