Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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