I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
