i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
