she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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