Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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