I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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