I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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