hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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