Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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