what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
