totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize