i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
