just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
