My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
