Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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