i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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