? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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