Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
