There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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