She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
