He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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