she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
