I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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