Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
