yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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