I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
