Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
