What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My vagina is very pro this idea
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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