Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.