Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.