your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
