fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize