I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
