Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
