The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You pole danced in your parka.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
