Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
