38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Your penis caused this!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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