i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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