hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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