So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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