You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
