? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
they need to just BURY HIM!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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