Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
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he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
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Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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