every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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