If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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