Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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