mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
