Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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