Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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