I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
