You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
