So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you would pick up someone in the library
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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